What’s the weirdest phone call you have ever received?

Is your number (xxx) xxx-xxxx??

Whew, not in trouble!! But someone named Sean with a similar number is apparently about to have a rather bad day.

Do what? Officer, I'm sorry I have no kids of my own, and I don't know anybody by that name.

How is it, in the USA, a country with 334 million people, the choice of President comes down to two aged men, one of whom is a liar as well as a criminal, one who appears to be on his way to dementia. Surely a democratic country can put up better?

I was trying to reach out to you because we have a Mr X here, who claims you are his legal guardian. He needs you to come down and sign some forms.

Looks at phone, sees a number local to me, so I answered.

Do you reside at 1234 X X Lane?

Why are men ridiculously delusional in the women they want/approach? I'm not a troll. This is a real question. Why does a fat, pot bellied, unkempt, balding, stupid (ergo poor) man, tell a woman above his league that she isn't hot enough for him?

Sure no problem officer.

Yes sir it is.

After a few moments he returns.

How should one respond to compliments such as "You are so special" and "I'm lucky to have met you" from a guy?

ATTENTION SPIKES UP. What could he want with me? Did I do something wrong? Lord did I forget to pay something? Questions start flying through my head. What would the detention center sheriff want with me?

Long pause, OK. (Inaudible talking). Could you hang on for just a sec?

Hi this is Sargent Moss from the County detention center. Is this Sean?

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No sir I sure don't, I live in the next city over.

I hear a pause on the line, it goes quiet for a few seconds.

{RING} {RING}

What’s the worst thing you caught anyone in your family doing?

HELLO

I'm sorry to bother you, my staff just told me our guy corrected his information and had a number off for his home phone. Have a good day. Hangs up.